Sunday, September 13, 2009

Dr. Spock. Was He the One with the Pointy Ears?

It may have been in your paper this weekend and you just skipped over it. Here's where it started, in Saturday's Boston Herald. In a world of blame, this item presents a target-rich environment. I suspect we don't need to worry about getting a photographer from Parents Magazine on the horn to come out and get some happy snaps of Mom and Dad with Cullen, the little boy with the hash brown burn marks on his neck.

I fear the tyke was indeed hurt and not just a little bit-but arrogant, tag-along Dad (my wife did ALL the heavy lifting-I was closer to being a much older third child than a partner in raising our two) of now two grown-up children in their own right that I am (phew! that was pretty long, wasn't it?) I'm not sure he's eligible for emancipation of minors which is what I would counsel him to be his next and best option. I don't imagine having Robin and Greg in the front seat gives Cullen anywhere near enough space-I'm thinking a TRO should do the trick.

It's hard to feel anything other than anger for Mom and Dad, especially when the next to last line of the story seems to get to the heart of the matter which (surprise!) may not have as much to do with Cullen's owie or those yummy, but dangerous, hash browns as one might suspect, "The suit also accuses the franchise’s insurer, CNA Insurance Company of Chicago, of refusing to make a 'good faith offer' to settle the claim." So when the threat of extortion didn't work, someone stole a page from the marketing strategy book of the National Lampoon (technically, the January 1973 magazine)?

Dr. Benjamin Spock whose "The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care" is reportedly the SECOND largest selling book published in English, behind the Bible, to my knowledge contains ZERO references to feeding a young child fast food of any kind or at any time. I might have guessed it was okay to try a Munchkin (though not if you're trying to keep the baby fat off, based on those numbers), but I'd be wrong and upon advice of my attorney I will have no comment, though I will have a Coolata if the calorie count calculus works out.

Sorry, Cullen. Children don't get to pick their parents, which may be how you ended up with Robin and Greg, though I fear they may be genetically predisposed to reach for the Happy Meals. They think it's something you get at the Golden Arches while for you it's anything more age-appropriate to eat that doesn't injure you. Don't forget to use your napkin.
-bill kenny

Personal favor: If you're in my neck of the woods and see a 1995 Mitsubishi Mirage, light green, with CT license plates 229-HGS-please call a policeman. It's my daughter's car and it was stolen from in front of our house after eight o'clock this morning. Thanks

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