Saturday, October 23, 2010

And You Were Worried about Fruitcake.....

It turns out if you're looking for the gift that keeps on giving for a small child, I have two words for you: Happy Meal. As if there weren't enough people and organizations all frothing at the mouth and other orifices over these boxes of joy that comes with a toy, it turns out this really is a case of 'but wait! There's more!' (lots more)

Just me, or does your flesh crawl when reading a title like citizen journalist? Perhaps we're channeling Orson Welles and all that's left is the drawing to see who gets to be Rosebud's stunt double in the remake. Sort of like the days of 'comrade' when the worst thing we feared was the Red Menace, no relation to Red Auerbach, unless you're a fan of the ABA.

Anyway, back at the Golden Arches, the game's (been) afoot for some time now. Did you want fries with that? I appreciate these stories-what sentient human being wouldn't? Okay, wer so doof fragt...but proving I'm an equal opportunity sniper.....for your viewing disbelief, from the other side of the aisle.

I find it oddly comforting to know that if we manage to end our species' stay on this planet through one of those oops! moments with nuclear or biological weapons, the cockroaches who will survive will not be scarfing down any of those yummy treats they'll be able to reach right through the drive-thru window. How scared should we really be that bugs and bacteria want NO part of the stuff we're shoveling down our gullets with both hands?

As someone who actually enjoys eating fruitcake and puts up with an enormous amount of noise about that at the Christmas holidays (I now eat very little since even the smallest slice can put me in a diabetic coma), I'm looking forward to learning more about the ever growing number of other immortal foods we're eating.

I'm pleased to think that when the Rapture begins and it's really and truly Apocalypse Now, we'll have more than just loaves and fishes this time. And don't forget the Twinkies. Mmmm.
-bill kenny

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