Saturday, October 29, 2011

A Rose Is a Rose Is a Rose

Words hurt and whether you shout or whisper them, apparently, the Universe does listen. For all of us in the Northeast who complained this summer on the rare day when we didn't have sun, I hope you're happy now. All across the region, it feels as frigid as Dudley Do-Right's inseam and some places are bracing in case they end up looking like something out of Currier and Ives. Meanwhile, there are people I've known more of life than not like Chris and Dave who are beyond cooked to a crisp.

Why does every commercial and all the packaging for every brand of toilet paper always invoke the notion of 'facial quality.' What are we pretending we use it to do? I don't know who WMG is (actually I do), but thank you for disabling the audio on what is a very scary spot. When I was a wee slip of a lad learning to shave, my father showed me the art of the TP Dot, that just-a-touch of toilet paper you placed on a nick from your morning effort to get a clean shave. There were weeks, montsh even, at a time when I had what looked like papier-mâché pimples.

But apropos of bassackwards which, to my reckoning, is a turn of the the screw not really necessary since its root already is, combined with the ignorance of the power of words, what am I supposed to make of Heath and Debbie, from Holland Township in New Jersey, a region of the state you don't think of when you do that abjectly asinine 'joke' about 'Jersey? What exit?' I really hate that joke but will take it over three seconds of Snooki in any form at anytime doing anything. Dear WMG, you couldn't have worked your magic with the video this time?

Anyway Heath and Deb are a little 'out there' as today's teens are wont to say, who gave their kids memorable names and all the excuse child services people needed to remove their three children from their home. I'm still wondering why Heath, obviously taken with the little paperhanger's name didn't just change his own and leave his son out of it. Check out the comments on this-proving again (to me) that just because we can do something doesn't mean we should.

There's a Chinese proverb, "(T)he beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names," which I'm hoping for Heath and Debbie doesn't become part of their permanent record.
-bill kenny

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