Thursday, December 29, 2011

Trying to Cheer Up Country Joe

I had an appointment with my primary care physician yesterday-it was a regular visit and not any form of an emergency. I mention that because we've had our share of those as well. I'm a little unnerved lately at how often he seems to be surprised when I show up for the appointment as if he has an arrangement with a bookie somewhere and I should be seeing some of his action. I should live so long-actually that's why I see him, so mission accomplished I guess.

I'm not fine and haven't been fine for a number of years but both of us are very polite and rarely mention that in the course of a visit. Aside from being older than I was when we last saw one another (as was he, now that I think about it) and not having whacked my head and knocked myself out earlier in the day as was the case on the previous visit, the appointment was entirely uneventful.

I take a large number of medications on a daily basis so for every jacket and tie prep school hockey puck at Browning who whispered all those years ago that I was on drugs, you're finally right. And fuck you, still.

As my doctor was preparing to end our session, he asked me if I had any questions, which I did. I have hypertension and he's treating it very successfully, according to him. I've read too many articles on what time after awakening someone with hypertension should measure his blood pressure, so I decided to ask. We had an informative exchange-my contribution being mostly head nods and mumbled 'uh-huhs.' If you're keeping track at home, his recommendation was mid morning. But here's one for you: could that mean at 6  AM since that is technically mid-morning or the middle of your morning? I have no idea.

When he asked if I had any other questions, I  inquired how long I should wait to go swimming after I've eaten. He looked at me evenly for a moment and then responded 'about an hour.' How long, I asked, if you've eaten fish? He told me he would try very hard to look forward to seeing me in four months but couldn't guarantee anything. I'll bet if Thom Yorke shows up he'll pretend he doesn't even know who that is.
-bill kenny  

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