Friday, January 6, 2012

Haben Sie Feuer?

The line between bi-polar and bi-coastal got a lot smaller really fast when law enforcement in Los Angeles slapped the cuffs on Harry Burkhart for close to forty fires he allegedly set in three days because, as he phrased it, a 'rage against Americans.' Talk about bringing it all back home.

Our household is American and German, just as it was when we lived in my wife's country. Interestingly enough for all the years we lived in Germany, everyone, regardless of nationality, liked her and couldn't understand what she was doing with me. That pattern remained the same even when we switched to the other side of the ocean; I'm thinking it's a good thing to be a constant in the universe (and may start listing that on my business card).

After thirty-four plus years of marriage to me, I would have to believe if anyone were capable of being provoked into a rage against (an) American(s), singular or plural, it would be my spouse. I guess that means I'll have to add self-control to her list of attributes that already includes the ability to explain the same thing over and over to me without ever losing focus (though it's obvious to both of us I do), to repair everything in the house in which we live (since I possess my father's mechanical aptitude) and a relentless optimism that allows her to see the bright side in every situation (even when I'm knee deep in another misadventure).

Harry, Schämen Sie sich but make sure you stay on the other side of the country and don't give anyone any ideas, okay? If Arthur Brown could see you now, he would be profoundly disappointed. And while the BIC lighter folks are looking at a possible endorsement deal, Springsteen's people have already nixed a licensing deal, so you're on your own.
-bill kenny

No comments: