I'm not going to have very much from today, and I'm not happy about it or the fact that my happiness (or unhappiness) will have no impact on the course of the day at all.
Early today, much later than I normally get up but still early, I will be in the hospital undergoing surgery-repair of an artery (thankfully in my leg as opposed to someplace else). Granted, based on how I act sometimes, it's logical to assume I have been battling and losing to blood clots in the brain-but I have not.
The hospital is close to home this time. Last time around it was the Yale-New Haven Hospital which is a massive, world-class facility that (country mouse that I have become) I found decidedly daunting.
I'm at Backus Hospital in Norwich, less than a five minute walk from our house, though I am not sanguine at the prospect the post-op folks will let me hike home for lunch. I like the idea of home and dry even if all it will be is an idea. I am working very hard to not get exorcised about anything that's going to happen today or tomorrow since I understand that NOTHING changes if I do.
My brain gets it-the rest of me not so much.
Most of all, I hate how it disrupts the lives of my wife and family. Being related to me is not always the barrel of laughs I may have advertised was always the case when this living arrangement was in the negotiating stages. I have the easy part-I close my eyes and then there's nothing but free falling .