Friday, October 9, 2015

And to Cap It Off

You’ve seen the hats in every televised campaign appearance by Donald Trump, the “Make America Great Again!” ball caps. As is the case for all candidates in both major parties, you can buy all kinds of campaign merchandise ranging from bumper stickers to negligees (I knew you’d click that link) from your favorite candidate’s on-line store, though I suspect Senator Sanders’s isn’t offering  a lot of items with just his initials, though Hilary can always dream.

Cynic that I am purported to be (and such assertions wound me to the quick) I think that having stuff from short-lived or still-born (play on words deliberate) campaign efforts of Governors Perry and/or Walker could possibly/probably fetch more now than what you paid for them originally for that forty-five minutes or so when those gentlemen had viable candidacies.

As Pope Francis’ US visit did wonders, I’m told for sales of FIAT, conversely I imagine you can pick up a pair of BCD eyeglasses these days for a song in the wake of the failed Perry campaign. If your unborn children thank you for that purchase, I cannot pretend to find you anything but sad.

As for Mr. Trump, I suspect even though he doesn’t need the money (he says), he might be able to fund his entire campaign just from the sales of hats on his website. In the interests of free enterprise, of which Donald is a fierce and proud advocate, I must point out there are many other places you might purchase one. All the cool kids and more are already wearing them, so remember when it’s time to purchase, s/he who hesitates is lunch. 

As a big fan of all forms of air (breathable, canned, and free from the confines of a football), reading of Tom Terrific’s purchase got me thinking, and as it turns out, not just me. That Philip Bump is quite the scamp, is he not? In what’s shaping up as the most relentlessly humorless campaign for the office of President of these United States, since quite possibly 1860’s Lincoln vs. Douglas vs. Breckenridge vs. Mothra (just checking) election, I am cheered that we have reason to smile. 

And, as a supporter or at least an example of universal literacy (and if you just read that sentence fragment, so, too, are you) I embrace this with open arms, and empty hat rack. My two brothers both hockey fans in good standing will I imagine be delighted to know if you make three ball caps, regardless of text or color, it will be considered a hat trick. 
-bill kenny

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