I wrote this a half decade or so ago. It made me smile then, it made me smile just now. Hope it does the same for you.
Ripped from the headlines is so much more fun and far easier to write than anything I could ever imagine with the added bonus of being true and today is no exception. Especially as in this case, the source of the story is the almost legendarily tabloid Big Apple newspaper, the Daily News.
The New York Times may well be America's Newspaper of Record (take that Washington Post) but for the juice with some of the peel and a whole lot of the seeds, it's always been the Daily News (sorry New York Post).
I will concede in light of the sole on-line photo, I was disappointed. You know an enterprising staff photographer tried to file an expense voucher into five figures to encompass cover, copious libations and a little sumpin-sumpin for the artiste to keep warm in her little sumpin sumpin. Damn accountants!
And can the owner of the 'jiggle joint' (only the Daily News can do that) have a more perfect name? Yeah, I guess actually he can if his first name were Harry, but it isn't, so good try.
And Attorney McCullough, when/if pole dancing is an Olympic sport (the Winter Games because of the salubrious effect cold weather has on certain body parts), may you be placed in charge of the criteria creation committee developing the rules and evaluation standards (and making sure the Soviet Judge has a permanent "2" stamped onto his scorecard).
I'm thinking a second Boston Tea Party to protest taxation could be a pay-per-view hit if we line up the right music. After all, who doesn't like to dance as part of our life, liberty and pursuit of happiness? I shudder to think what might happen if we catch it.