Monday, August 22, 2016

Putting the Auto in Auto-Erotic

Spent a lot of time behind the wheel this weekend. I was auditioning for getaway driver for a new breed of lower tier felons who specialize in robbing 7-11s. They’re easy to spot because they have heavy-duty straws in their shirt’s right breast pocket for making short work off Slurpees as they speed away.

I didn’t start driving until I was graduating from my senior year at prep school. No especial reason, as I recall, I just didn’t get my license probably because I didn’t have the money for a car. I have in the four and half decades (!) since then more than made up for lost time (in terms of driving, not money).

I have no idea who invented the car, which as you’ll discover here, is a tastefully tortured tale that twists and turns.  And while we in the USA always associate Henry Ford and his Model T with mass production of vehicles, it’s a lot older than that with many hands involved in tweaking the process.

I love reading about cars because so much of the history gives me a better appreciation for the names of so many automobile lines and models.  That said, I’m betting we’re not going to see any cars or trucks (more specifically, vans) named for Michael Henson. With all due respect to the eye-witness, I’m thinking Mr. Henson was trying to jump-start the van. Perhaps his Triple A membership had expired?

Certainly adds a whole new meaning to getting all up in somebody’s grill (and thanks as well for that visual, Mike; couldn’t dislodge it from my frontal lobe with a fork if I tried). And it’s as good an incentive for requesting the deluxe car wash as I've read in quite a while.

-bill kenny   

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