Thursday, September 1, 2016

Short Takes

I saw an adult male the other day with a Mohawk haircut, but the part that wasn't in the Mohawk was shaved to the naked scalp. He was wearing a three-piece suit that probably cost twice what my car is worth. I cannot imagine what he does for a living to be able to do what he does for a living. He wasn't a young guy, either. I'm not real good at guessing ages, or weight for that matter so that career as a Carney is out. 

Actually, he was closer to being my age and he looked as goofy as the guys with whom I didn't go to Woodstock together all look. You've seen them too; they have long hair, gray and frayed and wispy, in a ponytail. Nothing sticks it to the man like a Volvo station wagon, Teva sandals and the green 'we recycle' grocery bag while shopping for tofu and bean sprouts. Fight the Power!

Here's somebody I'd like the 'man' to stick it to. The auto-American cretin who compensates for his car's driver's side headlamp burned out by driving with his high beams on and not dimming them as you and he approach one another. Yeah, I remember what Driver Ed said: don't retaliate and turn yours on; it makes two blinded drivers but still.... My son gave me a great idea-I turn off all my lights which makes it a lot easier for Hi (no Lois) to see me behind the wheel as I visually suggest that he's my #1 special friend, but not in that way. 

I also don't know what to do about the driver who goes up a one-way street the wrong way (slowly because he certainly doesn't want to cause an accident) for a short distance, to pull into somebody's driveway, rather than go around the block. I love when he comes nose to nose with a car coming down the street the correct way and they glare at each other like Mr. Upstream Salmon has any comeback at all. Or that guy's cousin, the driver who backs up a one-way street the wrong way with the car flashers on, so I guess the backing up doesn't count as much. 

Speaking of counting, how many crumbs from the toaster tray do you suppose it takes to assemble an entire piece of bread, and can you toast that slice when you're done? And why, on my Facebook page, does it say "you must log in to see this page"? Don't they mean "you must log in to see the NEXT page" since I can see the log-in page just fine?

And help me out on this one. We are in the thick of the Presidential election campaigns. How long after the votes are counted this November will we continue to see bumper stickers for the folks who ran? And, yes, I'm still Feeling the Bern and have the window sticker to prove it. We should remember a ready razor blade can be our friend, if not always especially friendly to Occam.
-bill kenny

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