Friday, February 17, 2017

Republican Gefiltefish

I wrote this many years ago, possibly before you were born; sadly (for me) NOT before I was born. As I recollect it, I was attempting to be whimsical. But as always, the Soviet judge gave me three measly points. Vlad, you scamp!

Republican Gefiltefish may have been what the woman at the deli counter in the Stop and Shop ordered a pound of on Friday afternoon. Or not. To tell the truth I'm not sure. But it was memorable, assuming that was what she actually said. Perhaps it was an homage to J. D. Salinger, perhaps not. 

I was sort of within earshot hovering over the salad bar which is in the back of the store in the same quadrant as the deli which is neighbors with the produce section near the seafood. They can put the seafood section in the parking lot for all I care. Or in Rhode Island, which would be even better.

The deli counter is very nearly Air Age in that you can place an order on a touch screen and then go about your shopping elsewhere in the store. I just realized we can do this probably because we have a Super Stop and Shop and are a planet in a galaxy with a yellow sun. Around here we say, Screw Bob, Jor-El's your grocer. In the course of your shopping you'll then hear a voice announce 'Deli Order Number __ is ready for pick up at your convenience' Waste of time as far as I'm concerned. If I can pick it up at my convenience, I will; leave me alone in the meantime.

Our daughter Michelle prepares good food lunches for the both of us (like maybe I look like I've missed a lot meals. Not.) but when she doesn't, I'm still set. I like the grocery's salad bar a lot as I'm trying to be good about eating healthy (there are many shades of good, at least I'm hoping so) and it's a key ally in my effort to live forever. I won't make it but I'd like to see how close I can get. I set another personal best this morning, so yay me.

I had a colleague just about half way round the world in a place that makes 'hostile working environment' sound like a day at the beach who, if I understood her correctly, was involved (for grins and giggles) in a weight loss contest to see who could lose 8% of their body weight first. I'm hoping the winner received a free dinner.

Actually what I was hoping was that the group of them were attempting an escape-they were just doing it a pound at a time. None of the people in the contest were close to heavy, so I'm thinking it was the challenge of trying to go AWOL, absent without leave, that attracted them to the idea. It wasn't, I think, so much subversive as silly.

Considering all of them were in a combat zone, it's crazy to suggest they were 'risking their lives or their health,' since, duh see clause immediately after gerund earlier in this sentence. Left foot, right foot, moving. Get out of your bed, soon you'll be improving. I never saw so many tigers.
-bill kenny

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