Impaired (drunk, buzzed, whatever you call it) driving is a plague on our highways and nothing that you will next read here is intended to condone, encourage or excuse it. Any and all efforts to keep us safe, often from one another, are most welcome and in my case, pure charity.
When I wore a younger man's clothes, my major undergraduate project as New Jersey lowered its legal drinking age from 21 to 18 (not sure what the illegal drinking became), was helping develop a "bar guide" to New Brunswick for those Rutgers College students who were still in the Inquisitive Mode. I wish I remembered more about the project, but suspect I should be grateful I don't.
With that as a disclaimer, I smiled when I came across a headline on a news item I think will also tickle your funny bone: "Dash, Body Cams Show UCA Juggler Proving Sobriety to Police." Unless the student is enrolled at the Ringling Brothers College of Circus Artistry (it could happen) at the University of Central Arkansas, I applaud the aplomb with which he demonstrated his field sobriety.
When I look back at my days on the banks of the Olde Raritan, I fear my feats of derring-do far more often than not fell under the "take his keys, please" category so bravo to you, Gentleman Juggler, and best of luck working up to those three chainsaws!