Equal Parts Rise and Shine

I've been going to classes/training twice a week for the last month (actually started in the last week of the last year), and this morning was my graduation. 

Thanks to Jess, Kayliegh, and Lauren (and way too many others for this old person's brain to remember) for the patience, encouragement, and perseverance in dealing with a somewhat very frightened senior citizen forced to learn a new skill set if he wanted to remain above ground. 

Thanks and love, always, to my wife, Sigrid, for the truest expression of 'in sickness and in health' I'll ever know. And yes, I am aware that every other Wednesday is recycling day in our neighborhood, so I'll be avoiding the curb.

I'm still an apprentice in terms of proficiency, but I made it through my first night of peritoneal dialysis and can look forward (not my first choice of words) to the same routine for every night of my life for the rest of my life.

Übung macht den Meister. Drück mir die Daumen!
-bill kenny

This Might Come in Handy

I'm not much for 'how-to' articles. I have close to no mechanical ability, so unless the article has pictures (or even better, video), I have trouble visualizing what the writer is talking about. Besides, as I ask myself all the time, how often do I need to know how to circumsize a drunken wombat?

Recent weather events, on the other hand, have persuaded me to think hard(er) about everyday tasks like driving on and in snow. Based on the number of bozos behind the wheel I encountered in the last few days after last weekend's SnowMageddon, and bracing for what may be coming later this weekend, I found this instructive and informative. 

Just remember to steer in the direction of the skid.
-bill kenny

Sweater Weather Would Be Better Together

My thug name is 'Willie the Whiner,' because of my non-stop lamentations about our weather, no matter what our weather is at any given moment. I spend a lot of my life unhappy with the weather, but I am very pleased to live on a planet with an atmosphere, even when the current meteorology isn't to my taste. 

Truth is, I've never lived anywhere that didn't have four seasons (okay, in Greenland, north of the Arctic Circle, some of the seasons were more notional than others), but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to try it out for myself, at least a little bit before deciding.

My mom had a lifelong dislike of winter and, most especially, snow. After retirement, she headed to Florida many years ago. I think the only reason she didn't move to Panama was that Cuba prevented the Florida peninsula from reaching there.

If anyone deserved the sun's warmth, it was Mom.

And judging from the weather forecasts, that's all the warmth a lot of us in the Northeast, and parts elsewhere, too, are going to have in the coming days. We had a LOT of snow last weekend, along with a lot of other folks, and there's a not inconsiderable amount still in the forecast.

I just had a memory of a daytimer AM station we listened to as kids when my parents had a vacation house in Pennsylvania, WARM, the Mighty 590. No matter how bitter the winter weather, you could always rely on the Ronnie Radio-Voice announcer to pass along the time and temperature in 'DEgrees' while demanding to know 'is it cold enough for you? It's only WARM for me!' Talk about the greatest little station in the nation, not.
-bill kenny

A Nose in Need

Our world is so complex, and our environment can be so complicated. 

Dust and pollen are big culprits, but food allergies are primary offenders.  

Runny nose, itchy eyes, and dry mouth are all reactions. Even sneezing.

No wisecracks, okay?
-bill kenny

No More for Me, I'm Driving

I had a dream last night that I was having a beer with Fred Rogers. Yes, that Fred Rogers of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, King Friday, Sarah Saturday, and Daniel Tiger. 

I'm assuming, in honor of Fred's hometown, we were drinking Rolling Rock Beer, though I don't remember seeing any green pony bottles in the dream. Nor were we wearing sweaters, so perhaps we weren't in Fred's Neighborhood. 

I stopped drinking alcohol four plus decades ago, so I was surprised to be cracking open a cold one with anybody, much less Fred Rogers. He seemed as surprised to be drinking with me as I was to be with him. 

In my dream, we got a little tipsy, and the bartender took our car keys and our shoes and suggested we wait for the trolley.
-bill kenny.

Tales from Tennessee Tuxedo's Textbook

Suspect you didn't miss this in your news summary from last week, courtesy of President "Man, Woman, Person, Camera, TV," showing off his mastery of geography. Yet again.

As those who follow Dora the Explorer well know, Greenland is the VERY LARGE island in the North Atlantic. Try this mnemonic: Greenland, Australia, Iceland, Indonesia, Coney Island. Okay, four out of five.

I was surprised the microphones that picked him up repeatedly misidentifying the object of his affections didn't record the sound of those Davos Devotees present, facepalming and wishing they were elsewhere. 

Perhaps they knew, as soon as he returned to the Land of the Round Doorknobs, he'd top himself. They didn't have to wait long.

I spent a year in Greenland, or 364 more days than our Vice-President has, and NEVER saw a penguin, not a single one, ever. Not because of bad luck but because there aren't any; they live in Antarctica.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
-bill kenny 

Hunker Down

Good news for everyone who got a Flexible Flyer for Christmas, and the weekend and this snowstorm ain't even half over yet. 

No matter how important you believe it to be for you to be somewhere other than where you are right now, you're wrong. Stay where you are, maybe until Tuesday. If not at this moment, then quite soon, motion and movement will be more hypothetical than actual.

My health is such now that all I can do is watch the weather worsen as my neighbors bail me out and try to stay ahead of the snowfall. My shoveling days, like my lawn-mowing days, are now over forever. You'd think the snow would stop falling, or the grass would stop growing, but no, not a chance.  
-bill kenny