I haven't done this before--stand-up. Well, type-up.
Courtesy of a friend from another life in another hemisphere a long time ago.....
Two 'hot mommas' meet in Heaven as they've both had untimely ends.
Hot Momma1: So, what happened to you?
Hot Momma2: I froze to death.
HM1: Oh dear, that's horrible!
HM2: You know, it sounds worse than it is. Yeah, it was freezing cold, of course, but then you get sleepy and after that, you nod off and you don't feel a thing.
How did you get here?
HM1: I always suspected my husband was cheating on me, so one day I came back to the house hours early just to see if I could catch him in the act, that rat!
I looked in every room--in the garage--in the basement--and in the attic. I looked everywhere and I couldn't find that girlfriend anywhere! I looked even harder and faster and got so frantic and angry that I ended up having a stroke and dropping dead in the living room! Can you believe it?!?
HM2: Too bad you didn't look in the walk-in freezer. We'd both still be alive.
Thank you! Thank you!
I'll be here all week and remember, the nine o'clock show is completely different from the seven!
-bill 'channeling henny youngman' kenny