Friday, February 10, 2017

Hi, Jean!

If perspiring were a superpower you'd see me wearing a damp cape everywhere. It may not seem like much of one, but perspiring is, I've come to accept, my superpower. I can break a sweat, just thinking about sweating and I've been this way since I was a child.

Actually, I perspire on the coldest of days (and did so most days for thirteen months while assigned to an airbase in Greenland in another life) or just standing still, in the shade, drinking a cool beverage. And, being honest, I don't just perspire, I sweat like some kind of a stevedore unloading a freighter in the noon-day sun.

I was the kid whose shirts were always ruined and for whom there was, and still is, little hope. To this day, I try every new underarm deodorant, roll-on or spray, in the hopes that 'this is the one.' It never is, of course. Talk about Sinbad and his seven voyages, for Pete's sake..


I saw something the other day where folks with similar problems use botox. Actually, they use it to treat hyperhidrosis (too bad it's not also a treatment for getting over yourself), and it's expensive and has a variety of side effects (aside from making you poorer). I use a roll-on, not a gel (I find them to be a little creepy but less messy than the white flaky roll-ons) that I think is a fragrance that's no longer being manufactured.

I've gone from using one with a scent resembling Desperado Under the Eaves to Anarchy, under my arms if not in the UK.
-bill kenny

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