I'm a Victim, too. And so are you

Item in the Los Angeles Times (sadly NOT on the front page), datelined Pueblo County, Colorado, where an inmate, Scott Anthony Gomez, Jr., of the county jail injured himself attempting an escape when he fell while trying to rappel on bedsheets (he'd tied together) down the side of the 85 foot tall building. He has filed a lawsuit claiming prison and county authorities caused his injuries by making it too easy to escape from prison. Oh yeah, he had escaped previously and had been recaptured. As you might imagine, falling about forty feet can cause injuries and the county was attempting to collect about $64,000 for medical costs from Scott when he sued.

My eyes water at the possible prospects this type of lawsuit suggests. With a good lawyer, hell-with only a fairly good lawyer-and some luck in the jury selection process, Scott could hear the ka-ching of a judgement, unless the county, fearing just that, offers a settlement. And that, my friend, would open the door to the rest of us.

For instance, I always dreamed of being a professional baseball player. I'm built all wrong to ever have that happen, herculean efforts to the contrary notwithstanding. It's not my fault I can't pitch for the Yankees-but it sure is somebody's fault, right? There has to be someone I can sue. When all else fails, there's Mom and Dad (unless they've made you sign a 'hold harmless' agreement).
How about that high school prom date where everything went wrong?
You don't think you're entitled to something for all that? The school system has deep pockets-so does the tux rental company, and maybe the florist for the corsage, and the list goes on and on.
This is America, Pilgrim! Money fixes everything.
We should give Scott a call, get together and review our options.

Percale or muslin? And how important is thread count, really?
-bill kenny