Saturday, July 18, 2009

Next time READ the Memo

For all the folks I pass with the bumper sticker (or all the insipid variations of it) "01.20.09-The End of an Error", time to break out the razor blade and take it to the bumper. President Bush is past tense, though you seem to have NOT noticed and thank the Lord and Greyhound, he's gone.

I never voted for him, despite the pomposity of the first guy, Mr. Animal Excitement as I like to think of him, who was his opponent in 2000 and the stealth charisma of the junior Senator from Massachusetts, I always remember him as The Senator Who Could Swim, in 2004. Maybe if the other guys had nominated a can of succotash I'd have considered pulling the lever for him, but, no, I just couldn't do it.

But here's the thing--whether you voted for him or not, threatened to leave the country and never return (yes, Alec Baldwin, I am talking about you and it hurts, a lot; sort of like watching you act, that you're still here), George W. Bush is NOT the President anymore. Get over it, you won. Heck, WE all won. Nothing to see here, move along. As much as I detest poor losers, I abhor poor winners even more.

Unless the bumper sticker is holding the Volvo bio-diesel station wagon together as your Birkenstock-shod gas pedal foot makes sure you never break the speed limit, get that election year artifact off the car. It's like having a Vote McKinley campaign button on your straw boater as you dance the black bottom. That 70's Show was the nineteen seventies, after all, and they had the decency to stop once they were no longer funny (eventually).

Didn't you get the memo on this stuff? More on point, didn't you read it? Do we actually need Department of Transportation and Highway Safety rules banning trite and no longer necessary or relevant adhesive messages? Does that mean if your child has children of her/his own, it's time for the "My Child Is an Honor Student at Ridgemont Elementary School" to come off the car? What do you think? And no, State of Washington drivers, you can't leave the "Fifty Four Forty or Fight" stickers on your back windows. But nice try.
-bill kenny

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