Big(ly) doings today in our nation's capital, appropriately enough at the Capitol Building as the Presidency of the United States, in a miracle of democracy and peaceful transition of power, passes from Barack H. Obama to Donald J Trump.
If you've visited this space at almost any moment for the last nearing a decade or so, you are more than aware that the President-Elect and I are like this (and you can guess which of those two fingers I regard him as being). It's unrequited animus as he would say "who?" in response to my name. That's actually more than fair and #ThanksDonald.
You are free to think me as an ill-mannered cur with my lack of respect for the man, but I would argue it's just my war on political correctness as I put a normal-sized finger of my regular-sized hand on the Cosmic Scale to counter-balance someone who left no one behind in a hateful campaign of conceit, contempt, injury and insult in pursuit of the office of President.
I am somewhat surprised the inauguration wasn't conducted exclusively on Twitter. I'm not a mathlete but the amount of characters permitted in a single tweet is probably double or more the total amount found in the entirety of his Cabinet nominees. Too harsh? Gee, I'm sorry; no, actually I'm not.
If I hold my breath waiting on those long-promised income tax returns and medical records of the new Birther-in-Chief, I'd be as blue as his suit (you thought I was gonna take a shot at Nugent's anatomy? I just did. And all the campaign chatter was about small hands? Speaking of which...).
The party of Abraham Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt thinks we should now unite behind a man who accepts as fact the meandering mutterings of Alex Jones and his ilk and who has created a parallel universe in which situational ethics is the New Normal and Truth and Honesty are always lowercase nouns and relative concepts. I think I'll take a pass on all of that.
For the sake of comity and not without some comedic value, I will say 'thank you for the kindness of that offer.' It's not you, it's me. I'm not a poor loser but I will concede nothing to this man, ever. And as you've probably guessed, I'm gonna stay this way for a helluva long time.
Speaking of hell, @realDonaldTrump, I already have my ice skates on and despite your insistence that climate change is a Chinese hoax, all I can say is puck you.