Too Long in the Wasteland

I'm thinking we are the only species on the planet whose reach can, by design, exceed its grasp. Yes, I've watched birds on a wire miscalculate a landing-I've watched a cat misjudge a distance on a pounce and come up short, but life goes on for them. They don't sit on a branch, or under a table, and ponder the 'what if' of the situation. They don't get wrapped up in the memory of that lovely nest they built on the tree branch on McKinley or how they used to nap on that porch over on Meadow Lane. They aren't hostages of their own history.

We, on the other hand, seem to work overtime to develop ways that our past shortfalls can be used to explain our future failures. I've discovered in recent weeks as my town, Norwich (CT) has assembled a budget as I've done my own state and federal income taxes, that five years ago (or longer) were The Good Old Days. Check your notes, and see if that's true for you as well.

Do you remember how we struggled emotionally, politically, philosophically, back then (whenever 'back then' is for you)? How grey so much of our lives seemed? It's hard to remember a summer's day, isn't it?. When we talk about how bad things are now and how so much of what we want, as individuals, as residents of a municipality, as citizens, is beyond our reach, I find myself wondering 'compared to what?' As Dylan noted, "No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky" so to me, instead of devoting any (more) time to bemoaning what was, I favor looking at what is straight in the eye and mapping a course.

In Norwich, we spent a not inconsiderable number of years acknowledging we needed to invest some significant money in our physical structures of the schools but the 'time isn't right' was the explanation always offered. Last year, the timing was right (I guess) and a bond request was developed and passed to expend about forty million (with a decent amount of state reimbursement of that sum, but let's remember we are The State so it's our money, just in another pocket of the trousers) to bring one of our two middle schools into the latter part of the 20th Century. I'm not being unkind when I say that-it's the nature of government-always a little behind at project inception and a bit more when the project is executed.

It's not been a very good 2008, to hear people talk. But when I look at my journals for the last decade, I'd argue it's not been a good millennium (so far. We do have a ways to go, I'll admit and nearly all of it will be without me) and that all we can do is all that we've done: get up everyday and do our best. Right now, perhaps, people are tired. Those whom I see on a daily basis look shop-worn for worry and wear and tear, myself included. Life is a contact sport after all and some days, it's badminton and other days more like Australian Rules football.

I attended a budget hearing last night in Norwich where fellow residents spoke to the City Council on the City Manager's proposed budget (memo to Pete: there were more than seven residents in attendance, especially since eight of them spoke. Why would your newspaper send the guy with no math skills to cover the budget hearings?) and the fear in their voices was more real than I've ever heard before. Yes, there was anger at the rate of increase and where the money was allocated in the budget and anger is something I've heard in Council Chambers in the last years-but the tone of fear was new.

For every resident who spoke of the fear of keeping a home, of being able to retire and continue to live in Norwich where they grew up and where their families are from, there were I have no idea how many who were too afraid to voice that fear or were too busy at second or third jobs earning the money they hope will make them a little safer for a little longer. In the Air Force we had a method to muzzle the brightest guy in the room (you won't be surprised to learn it was never used on me, will you?): after he or she had offered an observation or an idea, someone would ask loudly, 'if you're so smart, why aren't' you rich?' It never failed to kill the discussion, but, all these years later, I've never worked out the answer to that question.

Despite where we are in the spring of 2008, we still have so much, as individuals, as residents of Norwich, CT (or of your town, too) and as citizens of United States of America (some days a lot more united than others, I admit.) Some feel that can only mean we have that much more to lose so we start choosing fear over hope. I've spent too long in the wasteland, and concede that, but we have so much more to celebrate than to mourn. I'm not from here, but people tell me it's not like it used to be. They say I should have been here back about ten years before it got ruined by folks like me. Instead of arguing over how we got here and who's to blame, let's figure out how we're going to get to where we want to be and go there. You can use your hands to help a neighbor to help yourself or to make a fist and shake it at the moon.
We are all we can depend on. If not us, then who?. If not now, then when?
-bill kenny