Lawyers, Guns and Money

I am impressed with the number of TV ads for law firms on daytime television. All of these folks will fight to get me what's mine, even if I'm not real sure what exactly mine is, yet. One ad promises to come to my house or hospital bed (how easy is that?) while another, who's been around Connecticut for all the years I've watched TV, has pledged to fight to get me what I'm owed because that's what's fair.

I know people who are lawyers and so I'm treading somewhat carefully, or hope I am, as I type these observations, since I don't intend to offend anyone (but don't really care if I do). Our legal system is, as I understand it, fundamentally an adversarial system--for someone to 'win' someone else needs to lose. As attractive as all of us going after Big Insurance, or Deep Pockets or Something Else with Capital Letters, logic dictates that a certain percentage of all this suing of people business must involve suing other people.

One of these TV commercials for an attorney shows a car zipping between two others traveling in opposite directions as the lawyer describes an accident 'that wasn't even your fault!' Take that, fish-tailing dark car we all saw in the commercial! Gotcha! And the good news is that John or Mario or one of the Flying Trantolo Brothers will be representing the victim. Good news, of course, for the victim but I've started to wonder.....(I'm rehabbing my knee, remember? I have LOTS of time to wonder about stuff).

I've never seen a commercial or read a newspaper advertisement for legal representation of the bozo who ran the stop sign, or who side-swiped the mini-van. You know, in legal terms the defendant--the guy your white knight barrister is going to eat for breakfast until he gets you the 'settlement you deserve.' But lest we forget, in our legal system, both sides of the contested issue are entitled to representation, and fair is fair.

Are there other TV commercials on sets in a parallel universe (and what happens after digital conversion on 12 June? More importantly, whom do we sue to find out?) that tell you the names and phone numbers of those legal gladiators that will take your part, no matter how wrong you are or how many, even on other planets, saw you commit the deed, most foul, for which you must now answer? The play's the thing, but the no-fee guarantee is what brings the clients into the waiting room. That Dick the Butcher can sure coin a phrase when he needs to.
-bill kenny