Mr. Sports Guy to the Rescue

I don't know about where you live, but if the weather around here keeps up for a few more days, I'm gonna ask the local dairy if they'll put Spring on the side of a milk carton and call upon all of us to seek it out.

I hate to complain about weather, since it's one of the far-too-many things over which I have no control, but c'mon. Tuesday we had mid-sixties and clear blue skies and Wednesday we had what looked like February and it doesn't look like the pattern will change much in the coming days.

We've added Daylight Savings in recent weeks, had the shift to spring and what do we have to show for this around here? Zip, as near as I can tell. How about a suggestion that will, I hope, get me a consideration for a Nobel Prize, or a Chuck E. Cheese token or something: make the first day of spring and Opening Day for Baseball the same day, Monday, April 6th.

I know: "Hey! Why didn't I think of that?" To review: were you a wild child in the Early 70's? Do you own a copy of Arthur Brown's Chisholm in My Bosom? Did you believe that quadraphonic records would replace and supplant stereo? Did you really have flowers in your hair? If you answered 'no' to any of the the above, you couldn't possibly have combined the first day of spring and baseball opening day, so don't feel bad.

And thanks to the relentless commercialism of everything--with an Opening Night Game, Atlanta at Philadelphia on Sunday, April 5th, that could be the start of Daylight Savings Time. This year, it might be a little awkward as Sunday is also Palm Sunday and the churchgoers among us might feel co-opted. But, how many times have you watched a guy step out of the batter's box long enough to cross himself, or seen a pitcher throw a decisive third strike in a bases-loaded situation and point to the heavens in joy and thankfulness? You know, I bet we could start a rumor that the Pope roots for the St. Louis Cardinals and no one would bat an eye, or eye a bat.

I think in recent years Spring has come too early here in the Northeast and we've had trouble hiding the Easter eggs because of all the snow drifts. I think the real appeal of my idea is how it gives every area of the country its own First day of Spring. As I mentioned, the Phillies host the Braves Sunday night--but that doesn't mean Spring has to start in Atlanta until their home opener--fair is fair. And this way, nothing gets in the way of Memorial Day or Fourth of July--although this year it looks like the October classic will actually be played in November making the start of Fall, as marked by the start of pro football, a bit dicey. Luckily, we have professional sports like basketball and hockey that are played, I believe, just about year round and whose champions are, I'm told, actually determined by random drawing. Seems to be about as close to a win/win as we're likely to get.
-bill kenny