Turns out House is Right.....

I'm curious about this: is there anyone who follows baseball, and I'll actually pull over and watch little ones play tee-ball if there's a game near where I'm driving, who didn't assume Mark McGwire was cranked while plying his trade and chasing home run records? And if you said you were surprised, would you be insulted if I didn't believe you?

Are you as impressed as I am about McGwire's motivations for finally 'fessing up or do you suspect they are as pure as the blood and his other bodily fluids that Major League Baseball failed, or forgot, to test. Reading all the 'news bulletins' and watching the sports networks go to max media feeding frenzy on this like it was date night at Piranha High School, I kept waiting for someone, anyone, to look into the camera and wink.

Could have been Bud Selig, Mr Stealth Charisma as Commissioner of Baseball (he's often mistaken for Kenesaw Landis, (especially by those who have NO idea who either one of them is, or cares; sort of like Fox Sports) who offered a I-kid-you-not straight-faced "Being truthful is always the correct course of action..." All I kept hearing was Frank Zappa, definitely not someone known for his love of the suicide squeeze.

Meanwhile, it should have been McGwire's former manager in both Oakland and in St. Louis (and who has hired him to be a hitting coach for the Cardinals) Tony LaRussa who is "encouraged" and who thinks "as we go along, his explanations will be well-received." I adored his insistence that he didn't know anything about Human Growth Hormones, or steroids in either team's clubhouse, so I have to conclude he's either clueless or, like his about-to-be hitting coach, a liar.

Tickets for St. Louis Cardinals spring training games at their Jupiter, Florida (Hi, Mom!) complex go on sale this Saturday (and nice coverage of your own guy). The website doesn't really get into it, but I wouldn't be surprised if they accepted most major medical plans, as long as fans have a prescription benefit.

I've mentioned before that I love baseball, so it cuts me to the quick when I suggest, not in anger but more in sorrow, EVERYONE who's played Major League Baseball in the last fifteen years, and for the next five, be automatically disqualified for consideration for election to the Hall of Fame. I think all of us have to assume you cheated. Turns out every, or just about, word that sleazebag Canseco wrote was true--most major leaguers can't even spell petard, much less be hoist with it.

It's supposed to mean something, Barry, Mark, Sammy, Alex, Rafael, Rajah and all the other luckless, lunchless losers--and if you're one of the straight arrows who didn't cheat, too bad. You knew who did, because it's obvious even to a dolt like me that everyone knew and knowledge with NO action is the same thing as cheating because you tolerated it.

"Everybody lies. We're stuck in the middle. I think I liked it better when the world was round."

-bill kenny