Dohminus Vobiscum

There's little less pathetic than an aging hipster my children told me not that long ago (not sure why. No, seriously, no idea at all!) so I suspect watching organizations that have fallen out of step trying to be relevant is the aging hipster equivalent. Last Monday, the Vatican's official newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano editorialized that "Few people know it, and he does everything he can to hide it, but it is true: Homer J Simpson is a Catholic." Yeah....about that.

Bear in mind, this is the same Vatican who put Galileo under house arrest for insisting the earth was not the center of the universe. Okay-different cast of characters, but the very same movie nevertheless. That's the problem with tuning into all the fun stuff just above the police calls, most of the high frequency responses get lost in the wash. That the editorial was based on analysis by a Jesuit of an episode from five years ago doesn't impress me nearly as much as the insistent paranoid delusion that the Society of Jesus influenced Heinrich Himmler when he sought a role model for a GTO (Guys Together Only) society he liked to call the SS.

The thing that's weird about almost all the press (nearly a half million media mentions; try "Wounded Warrior Project" how fuqqed is that!?!) on this 'news' is the paucity of references to the fact that we're talking cartoons here, boys and girls. It's like being hot to trot for Jessica, Roger Rabbit's girlfriend; sad, and then spooky sad when it's apparent you don't realize she's not really real. Or the media feeding frenzy when J. K. Rowling threw Dumbledore under the (presumably lavender) bus, so to speak.

Do you wonder where Dan Quayle is right now and what he makes of all this brouhaha in light of his trail-blazing work in pillorying products of writers' imaginations? Bet he's wondering about the statute of limitations on boneheadedness (and probably how to spell it). Look at all the trials and tribulations in this old world, L'Osservatore Romano, and tell me (hand on your heart and keep the other one out of your pocket while staring at the bunny babe) you really didn't think there were other items worth an editorial? And you had to do this last Monday when the week was still an hour longer? Reminds me of the Iliad. Not!

-bill kenny