Sunday, November 21, 2010


The downside for merchants in tough times is that they have to goose their sales pitches-start them earlier, make them last longer, offer pony rides for birthdays, throw in pom-pom girls for Gaudete Sunday, just a lot of extra work they could otherwise skip if the economy weren't so out of sorts.

I fell in love with online shopping, not that I do a lot of it, but I love the concept of it, when one of those sites had a commercial that involved shooting gerbils out of a cannon. The spot was only partially effective because I had forgotten until watching it again the site didn't sell everything, it specialized in computers. Obviously not enough since when you type in, well, you already see what you get instead. If only they had unleashed this gem earlier. He's right; that is good stuff.

Of course, these days when we think on-line shopping we think of the site named for one of the rivers of South America, but none of us remember it that way. No wolves, no gerbils, just everything rushed to your house at the speed of mouse. Now, in fairness, they're not the only site like this and these folks who've spent close to a decade saying "The Big O" as their tag line without winking or blushing are still alive and well, even if their actual employees are not actually in tune.

Jaysus! You see the size of the guy on the forklift? They'd have needed a howitzer to get enough lift to thrust his chunky torso through the "O", but I digress. My favorite part has nothing to do with the attempted singing but, rather, twenty-two seconds into it the proud proclamation they are "#2 in Customer Service." I think I'd have actually preferred watching the wolves gnawing on forklift guy, there's certainly enough there to keep 'em fed through the NFL Thanksgiving football games.

If you're like me, you love to chant "We're Number 2" all day long. (I couldn't figure out how else to phrase that, but you're welcome to try and let me know how it comes out (good Lord, what's the matter with me?)) but I bet I can guess what else you were curious about. Mystery solved. Oh, for the record, no high school marching band musicians or gerbils were harmed in the writing of this blog or in the making of this spot. You're welcome.
-bill kenny

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