I came across an item yesterday afternoon that made me sad only because I was too old when it all got started to love it the way our kids did. Sega, the creators of Sonic the Hedgehog, is folding up its game manufacturing operations as the corporation reaches for the clouds, marketing wise, to concentrate on digital distribution instead of wires, boxes and cartridges.
As a gaming console company, Sega is the air age equivalent of General Motors and the Too Big to Fail Big Band and we saw how that almost turned out, right? Unless you're someone who used to make or work for Oldsmobile, Pontiac or Saturn, because if you were, it really did happen to you. Looking for sympathy for the Hummer? You'll need to try in the dictionary, between $hit and syphilis, bunky.
Anyway, who'd have thought that Mario, Mario of all people!, would be the last man standing. I guess Sega feels like Atari felt back in the 70's when the world was their oyster until everyone else showed up with a game cartridge or console that blew the doors off of theirs. I just hope Sonic invested its money wisely (notice how I avoided both the feminine and masculine pronoun? Mama didn't raise no fools) and can afford a nice spread somewhere South of Miami where it can play checkers and clip coupons, waiting for that annuity check to show up the first of the month.
"Let me tell you about the Proto Culture.
If you don't know the culture, here's the whole structure.
We've had enough of that lackluster, trust us.
We get the kind of games you can't rent at Blockbuster."
Least-wise, anymore. Word.
-bill kenny
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