Saturday, June 16, 2012

Be a Light, Not a Horn

Had about 11 thousand million cars parked on my street when I came home yesterday. I actually thought we were having a party and I had forgotten to bring the chips. Turns out the school across Chelsea Parade was holding its 2012 graduation exercises.

I always envision hundreds of kids in red caps and gowns doing synchronized jumping jacks and leg lifts counting cadence while their families look on from the bleachers applauding wildly. Hadn't fully appreciated how long those blotter hits stay in your blood stream. Had I, I might have helped myself to a few more back then.

This is the season across the country that youngsters mark milestones as they move from one level of schooling to another to whatever's beyond all school and even beyond whatever's beyond life as we know it. I wish I had some sagacious insights to share from back in my day, but we didn't pay any more attention then than you do now (maybe less) so I don't except for housekeeping notes.

Always have pens with black ink-blue ink sucks and if you have to make a copy of something you've signed in blue ink, it looks goofy and is barely visible. If you have to smell food in your refrigerator to see it's still edible, it's not and throw it away. Get the gas money up front, NOT at the end of the trip or you won't get it at all. And no, claiming 'I got the snacks in Butte, remember?' isn't the same as kicking in for a fair share of the gasoline purchases. And if that screws up your friendship, you didn't have one.

Be what you want to be-I've spent most of my life being what others have told me. Look at what it's gotten me and proceed with caution. I'm fine and you will be, too. Don't let people whose lives have foundered sink you and your dream no matter how stupid your dream is (sarcasm as humor). Oh yeah, no dream is stupid if it's yours and if you find someone who shares it, sees it or gets it, marry them, regardless of your sex or theirs and you'll be ahead of the game and definitely ahead of most of the rest of us here on the ant farm.

Return the gowns to the graduation coordinator immediately after the ceremony to make sure you get your deposit back. When you choose to use the word "truth," always use it with the indefinite article, "a" rather than the definite one, "the." Something about sunscreen but I'll be damned if I remember what. I learned the truth from Lenny Bruce and all my wealth won't buy me health. Be an exclamation, not an explanation.
-bill kenny

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