Sometimes your right to bare arms gets in the way of other folks' rights to arm bears, or to steal them while they're small and try to sell/rent the opportunity to pet them.
From the archives and submitted for your review and approval, John Chadwick Montgomery, whose brush with the law is captured here.
I have a lot of questions but the one that jumped out at me was mathematical in nature. That $1 to pet the bear cub, was that a dollar for every pet of the bear cub or was it an all-you-can-pet price? Does the bear cab, Newell, have a bald spot where folks were really taking advantage of the price?
I love the quote from the director of the preserve about Montgomery's behavior, "It almost makes me think he wasn't thinking." Its applicability to a range of behaviors beyond the realm of bear cub napping is nearly universal, I think.
And let's not forget about Lizzy who, it's reported, rushed to the aid of Petey, a fellow capuchin monkey, who was Montgomery's first abduction target. I will admit to some admiration of Montgomery for persevering after getting bitten by Lizzy.
Lizzy ended up with a black eye as a reward for her rescue efforts and I'm inspired to wonder if monkey boxing might be worth considering as part of a new triathlon for the Summer Olympics. Three rounds of monkey-boxing, five minutes of petting a Kodiak bear and two laps around an indoor track with a lion while wearing liverwurst after shave. I'm pretty sure no one will win any medals but the TV ratings should be rock-star spectacular.
-bill kenny
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
-
I wrote this five years ago in an effort to make sense of the unfathomable horror of the darkest day on the calendar in my lifetime. It... -
My thug name is 'Willie the Whiner,' because of my non-stop lamentations about our weather, no matter what our weather is at any giv...
-
You may not have yet started to notice, but the days are getting shorter--yes, I know, hot summer nights and all that, but since we've h...
No comments:
Post a Comment