I believe I'm finished with my Christmas shopping. I'm impressed with how, in my dotage, I've embraced the convergence of commerce and technology and for all practical purposes do ALL my shopping online.
I tend to order things for family (I have no friends so I save time AND money) based on the item's appearance on my screen (I don't use my smartphone to buy stuff, it's too hard because the print is too small). My lack of attention to detail, in terms of size and/or color, adds new meaning to 'your mileage may vary.' Think of that scene in Spinal Tap with the Stonehenge set.
You'd think I'd be an expert on online shopping by now but you would be wrong. Instead, I get distracted with minutaie control. Do you know why women's clothing seems to have fewer pockets than men's? Because it does. Hand to God.
Did you ever wonder why sweatshirts have an "X"? Not a curious George, not even a little bit?
Can I buy anything for all these questions? Nope. I can't even lease the satisfaction of not being the first one to have ever wondered about them. Though would it kill you to follow me for more fashion tips?
How about if you follow them, instead?
-bill kenny
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