Sunday, February 13, 2011

Republican Gefiltefish

That may have been what the woman at the deli counter in the Stop and Shop ordered a pound of on Friday afternoon. Or not. To tell the truth I'm not sure. But it was memorable, assuming that was what she actually said. Perhaps it was an homage to J. D. Salinger, perhaps not. I was sort of within earshot hovering over the salad bar which is in the back of the store in the same quadrant as the deli which is neighbors with the produce section near the seafood. They can put the seafood section in the parking lot for all I care. Or in Rhode Island, which would be even better.

The deli counter is very nearly Air Age in that you can place an order on a touch screen and then go about your shopping elsewhere in the store. I just realized we can do this probably because we have a Super Stop and Shop and are a planet in a galaxy with a yellow sun. Around here we say, Screw Bob, Jor-El's your grocer. In the course of your outing you'll hear a voice announce 'Deli Order Number __ is ready for pick up at your convenience' Waste of time. If I can pick it up at my convenience, I will; leave me alone.

The salad bar I like a lot as I'm trying to be good about eating healthy (there are many shades of good, at least I'm hoping so) and it's a key ally in my effort to live forever. I won't make it but I'd like to see how close I can get. I have a colleague almost half way round the world in a place that makes 'hostile working environment' sound like a day at the beach who, if I understood her correctly, is involved (for grins and giggles) in a weight loss contest to see who can lose 8% of their body weight first. She only has seven pounds to go, she says (this was as of Friday evening). I'm hoping the winner gets a free dinner.

Actually what I'm hoping is that the group of them involved in this are attempting an escape-they're just doing it a pound at a time. None of the people in the contest are close to heavy, much less overweight, so I'm thinking it's the challenge of trying to go AWOL, absent without leave, that's attracted them to this competition. It's not so much subversive as it is silly. Considering all of them are in combat zone, it's crazy to suggest they're risking their lives or health, since, duh see clause immediately after gerund earlier in this sentence. Left foot, right foot, moving. Get out of your bed, soon you'll be improving. I never saw so many tigers.
-bill kenny

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