As the Ides Approach

It wasn't that long ago, was it, that we were wishing one another Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, am I right? And what's all this now, the start of week ten of 2009. We are already into 59/60 days into this now previously-used year? Amazing, isn't it?

According to the calendar I use as a desk blotter, and whose monthly pages always end up with enough brown rings of varying hues (from my coffee cup I suspect; I am a sloppy drinker) to look like it's auditioning for the Olympics (and did you see where Chicago, as a part of a bid package for one of the upcoming Olympiads, I've forgotten which one, has budgeted ten million dollars to develop a mascot? A mascot(!) Pop Quiz: name the last five summer and winter Olympics mascots....HURRY! Okay, pencils down. Yeah, that's the same number and names I have, none. That's money well-spent but I guess it is better than blowing it on drugs, though it sounds like something a stoner would think of doing.), Daylight Savings Time returns NEXT Sunday.

I've never understood the springing ahead and falling back anyway. We are, to my knowledge, the only species on the planet that takes this kind of environmental management to the level and degree we do. There's little chance a colony of aphids in Georgia for instance is going to get up next Tuesday morning, and Herb Aphid is going to say to Eunice, his wife, how much he hates this daylight savings stuff while she points out 'Herb, it's nice to have the daylight at the end of the day, except it's easier for the birds who eat us to better see our kids as they walk home from Aphid Academy.' Or maybe not. People always think I should get out more. Except those who've met me when I do and they much prefer me to stay in my world. I cannot imagine why.

So with a little more than 16% of this year already in the rear view mirror, what do we have to show for it? I saw in the newspapers the other day, we own a sizable portion of Citibank. I'm pretty excited about that--heck I just finished last year paying off the car, and lookit me now. I've always wanted to be able to want into a business and strut around like I own the place, you too, I'll bet. And now we do! First thing, I'm doing the next time I'm at a Citibank branch is cutting the chains on those stupid pens with no ink that are out on those goofy desks to fill in the deposit slips. The bank doors are wide open, there's millions of dollars in the vault and what to they have they chains on? The ballpoint pens with no ink. No wonder we have economic problems.

Do they think Willie Sutton might choose a Tech 3 over a Tek 9?
-bill kenny