anyone lived in a pretty how town

When we were kids our teachers told us in America anyone could grow up to be President (at the time I was a kid, that actually meant anyone who was white, male, Protestant and married). We have now, in the course of my lifetime, reached a point where everyone can be President. Seemingly at the same time. Is it too late to make urinalysis mandatory before forming a political action committee? Please.

I was having a decent enough weekend until an acquaintance dropped me a note to ask if I'd heard Karl Rove's observation that Sarah Palin would be announcing her candidacy for the Presidency in the coming days. I hadn't. To tell you the truth, I so enjoyed Karl's work on the Valerie Plame affair that had I gone the rest of my life without ever hearing his name, or voice, again that would have been fine by me and I suspect with him as well.

I'm sure, one of my younger sisters, Jill, was NOT specifically describing American Presidential politics when she coined the descriptive phrase, "stupider and stupider" but I fear she somewhat presciently belled the cat. There's no break in the election cycle; we sort of downshift for a few months (weeks? days?) after we pick an occupant for 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue to let all the folks who ran in the last demolition derby pass the hat and gather up money and talent for a new pit crew and then it's back to the bricks.

For those who are champions of egalitarianism, I guess we should be happy that so many truly mediocre people, of all persuasions, would like to be our President. I voted for the guy currently there but that doesn't mean all sales are final but pitching candidates at me by the truckload is NOT gonna sway me as much as you'd think. There are so many bent and broken people already in the race that I'm almost tempted to run. Except no one would notice.

And that's too bad because I'm ready and this could be my time. I have a red tie which all men candidates must have when they talk on television about how much they love America, which is all you really need to do in order to campaign and be elected. I'm not kidding. Look at the folks on the hustings now and tell me you, too, don't wonder what the fuqq happened around here.

If Sarah Palin were the only 'weighed and found wanting' candidate seeking higher office, I wouldn't be too upset. Natural selection within the Body Politic will take care of Mama Grizzly and she'll return to whatever planet McCain's folks found her. But here's the deal: someone turned the crazymeter up to and then past eleven and snapped the knob clean off. She's just the latest turnip to fall off the truck and I'm thinking maybe she got pushed.

We should have people who aspire to be great not expire trying to fit in. When all you can offer me as you start a campaign for the most important elected office in the history of the world is every cliche you're ever heard, you need to stifle yourself. I've read enough US history to already know these are tough times but not Thomas Paine tough and it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. And lower cases aside, all by all and deep by deep and more by more they dream their sleep. Possessing the soul of a poet instead of the mentality of a three card monte artist might just be what we need.

-bill kenny