Fast Food Nation

Here's a little something to think about the next time you talk into the clown's head: if we are what we eat, what has all this fast food turned us into? And talk about a growth industry, make sure to factor in clothing and the purchase of new and larger apparel for those of us who graze at the neon signs of casual dining everywhere.

Imagine Jared knocking back a Happy Meal while wearing a BK crown, covered in the Colonel's Secret Recipe and sitting in a Wendy's. Sorry. Sometimes I get the portobello and psilocybin mushrooms confused but only on days of the week that end in y (because we like you). Anyway, we now live in such flamboyant times that if a tree falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear it, who posts the fall on Facebook and sends out the tweet that alerts the google plus circles?

Hell with hypotheticals! I have one for you torn from the pages of real life but a question to preface it: what would your choice of locale be for a discussion on a topic as intensely personal as two people who love(d) one another could ever share. Don't say it aloud, just think about it. Then click here, read the story and tell me with a straight face, yep, "I'm Thinking Arby's!" Where is Greg Kihn when I really need him?

And if your fast food fervor becomes a fever, I've got your poster girl for Nucking Futs, right here. Talk about Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, baby girl is crazy in the heat of the deep dryer. If only Dan and John could have seen her as the roof rack, she'd have eaten at their joint for free forever, which came a little soon for one of them. I imagine her ardor cools slightly when she gets a gander at the back of one of those tray liners and checks out the caloric content. That stuff really puts the relaxed in relaxed fit jeans.
-bill kenny