Al Capone was famous for a number of things and probably wildly successful at even more than is generally believed but I've always enjoyed his theory on transactional persuasion, "you get much further with kind words and a gun, than you can with a kind word alone."
I do not own a gun, so I'll assume he has the research to back it up. After all we're not talking global warming (which involves a different Al) so I'm comfortable taking his word. I think Jessie Dimmick might be best advised to read the Book of Al and memorize chapter and verse (and not get hung up on a literal interpretation of 'gun' but think 'weapon'). It's not like he has a lot else he's doing right now aside from knuckle-head stuff like this.
No later than now, his cellmate has asked to be transferred because no one wants to be locked up with a guy who watched Patch Adams (not even Robin Williams' newest nanny) with his hostages until he fell asleep and was awakened by the police slapping the cuffs on him. And if there's NO endorsement deal from either Dr. Pepper or Cheetos, there is no God (not sure of what happens to swearing on the Bible in court).
I admire the chutzpah it takes to sue the people you held hostage for "breech (sic) of promise." My brother, the attorney, has a somewhat jaundiced eye on how some of his colleagues practice his vocation-I cannot imagine how little he enjoys a rank amateur entering the arena, though I suspect he appreciates the self-control to maintain a straight face while filing this suit actually takes.
It's not that I don't understand Jessie's plight. Someone is paying for that surgery (suspect the taxpayers and Jessie is gonna be on laundry detail for the 1,429 years getting that money back), so there's a certain amount of need mixed in with the greed. Of course it's all smothered in stupid sauce so it's hard to see in any light. How's that other expression go, never bring a knife to a gunfight. Unless, like cheesy snacks and effervescent beverages, you have enough for everyone. And never trust anybody named Rowley; pants on fire.
-bill kenny
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