Saturday, January 21, 2012

That’s Why We Say “Man’s Best Friend”

If it weren’t for the unusual news on line, I could get through a world summary of daily events in less than a minute. Not because I speed read, mind you, but, rather, because I really don’t care. As someone who truly believes we are each tuned to WII-FM (What’s In It For Me), much of what some call news is for me, noise. Yes, the 'big world' is important but no, not much of what goes on in it is subject to any of my desires or demands. Merde!

In South Carolina today, members of the Republican Party will choose, well, they’ll choose the lesser of three evils, I guess (is that all that’s left?). There’s a guy who thinks it’s still 1811, and the one who isn’t just The 1% but more like POINT ONE % and don’t let me forget the Adulterer in Chief. But aside from that dab of drive-by snarkiness  (just to stay in shape), es macht doch nichts (it doesn’t matter). Enjoy yourself.

I live for the lunacy-for the implausible, for the ‘you cannot be serious’ dispatch. The item your eyes skim, the mouse has already double clicked, the screen has refreshed when your brain suddenly realizes what it just read, slams on the brakes and goes “waitaminit!” Up to the top of the screen you race, hit the back arrow and we have a pearl of great price, a story like this one, Man Tells Court it Was Dog Who Strangled Wife.

We wasted all that time in a tree house with Lassie, while the game was afoot? Actually my favorite part of this story was “Doz”, the commenter, wondering how long it took to train the dog. I’m a guy who has spent most of his life unclear about which end is for petting and which for pooping and this Dusseldorf Dog Lover not only trained his pooch to play dead but to play for keeps. Respekt!
-bill kenny

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