Smells like Team Spirit

By many financial accounts the largest grossing (not necessarily profit making but money-generating) sports franchises in the world include Manchester United, FC Barcelona, Inter Mailand and the New York Yankees. I mention this last one not merely to annoy the Boston Red Sox faithful among us but to remind all of my fellow OFC Kickers anhanger wir sind seemlich weit von zeil. Ich fühle mich so allein.

Actually, my point is (and when I comb my hair this way it is much harder to see) the head often remembers when the belly was empty. Official merchandise is so ubiquitous we almost no longer see it. You can be garbed from head to toe in your favorite team if you have the scratch to afford the "official jockstrap of the (insert your team here)" Men mock women for their devotion to Oprah and Ellen but, with apologies to Brooke Shields, nothing gets between me and my genuine NY Yankee pajamas (with the feet). 

Except maybe the cost of all this officialosity. Them logos ain't cheap my brothers and don't we know it. But what do we the grateful fans get for our devotion? The right to buy seat licenses in stadia built with our tax dollars in the first place. Tom Sawyer would drop his brushes over the chutzpah this takes, but we're just warming up.

Not too many years ago there was a movement afoot at ownership levels of Major League Baseball to work out a license fee structure for using team names, colors and registered trademarks by Little League teams. The Little League whose World Series (btw, Lords of Baseball it really is a WORLD series) in Williamsport, Pennsylvania, is a sell-out for every game, every year (and they give away the tickets for free); yeah, that Little League.

Money can't buy you love sang John, Paul, George and Ringo but Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner and Smith maintain a catalog of all the things it does buy and it's an awfully thick tome. Step right up and try the fragrance of 27 World Series Championships--New York Yankees Eau de Toilette and For Her Eau de Parfum. Did you think I was joshing (or does Beckett's agent have an option on that gerund?)-not at 62 bucks a bottle I'm not, bubbah.

If you thought we were talking about the aroma of neet's foot oil soaking into a glove with a baseball in the pocket and two sets of thick rubber bands wrapped around it and then jammed under the back mousetrap of a bike in the garage, au contraire mon ami. Who could afford that?

I adore the fragrances' descriptions because I'm addicted to words and may actually put some of the ones from Times' article in my resume. Who wouldn't want to be known as 'a sparkling gourmand with floral notes and flavorful muskiness.' Seriously. I left my decoder ring at home so I have NO idea what any of that means, except that I believe I just heard the approaching Horsemen, but it's a comfort to know there's also a body wash and a lotion. Oh well, whatever, nevermind.
-bill kenny