Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I Guess It's Special

We have a "As Seen On" (ASO) TV cable channel. Oh, praise whatever Monotheistic Deity or force of nature you so choose, that I should live to see the day. As if regular TV isn't bad enough (and it isn't by a long shot, at least not yet), now I can sit back brothers and sisters and kick out the jams motherfu-- fellow campers.

This station has everything-actually it has more than everything because a lot of this stuff, just as you think (pray) that the infomercial is over, someone rushes back into the sound booth to tell you about the INCREDIBLE deal you can have, but you must act now (perhaps this is actually a secret casting call for Shakespeare in the Park).

If you're up late enough and have a nimble enough thumb and pointer finger you can---hey! My eyes are up here buckaroo banzai. Thankyewverymuch. Anyway, you can get double of something that less than ten minutes earlier you not only had never heard of in your life but couldn't imagine ever wanting or needing. And now you've got two of it! "Just pay separate shipping and handling.' And who among us wouldn't want to do that?

So much talk these days about things in our everyday lives being outsourced! But on ASO TV almost all of it is made "with pride" in the USA. It's no kind of pride I know as almost all of it leaves me with 'meh' as the closest reaction I may ever have about any of this stuff. And remember, if you call before midnight tonight, they'll get your money even faster.
-bill kenny

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