Friday, January 4, 2013

Eye Red the Gnus Today

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, in all likelihood, it is a duck. In this case, the duck would have to give away twenty points or more on an IQ test to be Kim Kardashian's equal. But with a set of tail feathers like hers, she'd still probably sink like a stone. Phew! I feel a LOT better getting that vitriol off my chest but here's my actual point: why is Preggers Kim Kardashian newsworthy? Maybe I should better ask that of ABC News.

Appreciate her blinding glimpse of the obvious that the 'reality star' and pearl beyond price offered all of us because despite what these folks say, she is the only pregnant woman in the United States. There's a story (you'll think I fabricated but even I couldn't make this up) to the effect that she and Kanye West are "adjusting." Oh? Pray tell, dish!

I can feel the gorge rise in my veins with attempts to portray any aspect of the existence of the Family Kardashian and their ilk as news of any sort. It's like those "Ling-Ling is Pregnant" stories when some US zoo with a panda bear gets excited because the she of the species got her swerve on.

Maybe just my jaundiced view but baby pandas look not unlike small raccoons wearing a black and white onesie. (And there are thousands of websites with pictures, Why?) Speaking of pandas, elevating purposelessness to an art form as well as the Kardashians (all three elements are one and the same I would submit) I have to wonder if Kanye intends to be present for the delivery. He did, after all, place the order and when the Blessed Event happens, as it's all on TV, so I have to imagine he'll use that opportunity to point out how much sweller Beyonce's baby delivery was/is.

If that happens (knowing Kanye's predilection for the wrong word at the wrong time that's more when than if) perhaps of some solace, Kim, (and you'll have to look that up as it's not on those word-a-day calendars Bruce Jenner got you and your sisters), Taylor Swift will so be able to relate to how you'll feel. Maybe she can be the baby's Godmother.Not sure if I smell a news Emmy but something sure does!  
-bill kenny

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