Why Can't This Happen on a Workday?

Except that I'm in a fundraiser to combat breast cancer, this might have been all the reason I would have needed today to consider sleeping in this morning. As near as I can determine no Mayans were harmed, or consulted for that matter, in the making of that video.

And while we're on the subject of video-making, dear "Unsealed," spare me the mealy-mouthed disclaimer that's nothing more than a lame effort to try to hedge your bet on the date of the end of the world. Is you or is you ain't my girl? Not to put too fine a point on this, Horatio, but I got library books to return....or do I, huh?  

And this Unsealed guy is supposed to be a Christian numerologist (an endangered species I suspect), which I guess could be along the lines of an East Side Manhattan delicatessen offering "kosher ham?" Or not. Pay no attention to that mustard stain on my shirt and I won't count to ten. Makes us even though I think you are odd. 

Far be it from me to rain on your The Earth Is Going Out of Business Sale! but seriously? I suppose I should be happy if this happens at some point today since I'm kinda on the hook to mow the lawn (I hope) for the last time this season tomorrow after we drive home (unless I don't have to drive because the Earth is in flames). And if I do have to break out the mower, I'll be slathering on the sunscreen, and now the Nibiru-screen?   

Does anyone have recipes for green bananas? Hurry up, I'm asking for a friend.
-bill kenny