Me, Myself, and I (Don't Know What's Coming)

If you don't usually get e-mail from me, and you just did, it's not actually from me and you might be better off not opening it (I suspect I would be as well). Let me explain.   

I am not a big fan of moments when life imitates art, especially my art (which is far more artifice than Art Garfunkel (among others)). I kidded not that long ago about getting e-mail from folks claiming to be from Benin and other points yonder who had all kinds of money to share with me right after I sent them dollars to pay for a credit card of some kind and some reason.  

I think karma may be catching up to me.

Friday evening in my e-mail was a note not offering me money but rather demanding it; actually, it demanded 'only 450 Bitcoins' and gave me 48 hours to send them to an internet address or, since the email sender (I always assume it's a 'he' for reasons that may say more about me than I'd like) had my address book, it would send very unflattering and my-imagination-cannot-guess-images-and-other-information that it will present as mine. 

There was something about the email's tone of singleminded self-confidence that made me very ill at ease, perhaps the part in the note where the sender told me it was useless to contact the police as the address from which he had sent his note to me he had hijacked from someone else. 

Appreciated that I guess but in any event, I have neither the wallet nor the wherewithal to send someone I don't know (or someone I do know for that matter) 450 Bitcoins which is I have no idea how much actual in dollars (a lot I suspect; I have no grasp or appreciation of crypto-currency).   

I've no idea if the threat/promise of inappropriate and embarrassing social media postings in my name and the ensuing torrents of email to everyone who has ever been in my address book are real but I regard them as such. 

While I want to hope it's some kind of a (bad) joke I wanted to tell you no matter what you may think of me, what you may be seeing in your in-basket isn't me at all. Sorry for the trouble and thanks.
-bill kenny