My Last Original Thought Died of Loneliness

I drove past a realtor's office yesterday that was closed and also for sale. I found it intriguing that the firm handling the sale of the realtor's office property wasn't the realtor himself, but someone else. 

It reminded me of the used car dealership I passed someplace awhile back where Route 82 becomes Route 80 before joining up with Route 34 on the way to New Haven, that had all the lights on, and the pennants strung in the lot but no cars for sale. 

It must be exhilarating to be that good at what you do. We've all seen this happen: the only item left to sell in the store is the display model of the product (so awesome is the demand exceeding the supply). I'm always impressed by people who will say to the clerk, 'I'll take it off your hands but I'll expect a discount' (because it's the display model, it seems). Not me-I'm adding a premium to the price, perhaps doubling it and, if met, I'll treble the price because once the display model is sold-I have NO more of the item at all. Why should you get to solve your problem at my expense? 

So for me, I'd be sitting in that real estate office, with all the lights blazing--even though I have no property to sell except the one I'm working in. Talk about approaching the abyss. And what about the used car dealer with no cars? The curse of success! Ideally, he should/would have gotten a car in trade for every car he sold, thus maintaining a balance and equilibrium. I don't know what happened-perhaps someone without a trade-in, but keen for a car showed up and insisted on purchasing one. So much for the spirit of 'Take a Penny/Leave a Penny,' eh?. 

And now, the fellow who's so good at selling used cars is a victim of his own success. He's out of business because he has none left to sell. Would this carry over to, for instance, the unemployment office? So successful are they at placing people seeking a job, that everyone is working--which means they no longer need to. Suddenly the people who work in the unemployment office are the only ones whom the unemployment office is serving. 

And what kinds of positions do you find for people who have been working to find other people jobs? I suppose we could devote an afternoon to a celebratory parade honoring their success at placing everyone, but logistically, when would people be able to march or attend? They'd all be working. 

We have "sin taxes" on cigarettes and liquor and the like, with the theory being if the "sin tax" is high enough, people will stop buying the item and, as a result/reward get healthier. Except what goes in the hole where the money from the "sin tax" was? Or is it syntax? Never mind. 

You see my point, right? Nothing succeeds like success, we always say. So to reduce that expression to an equation, we could write nothing = success. What was it they taught us in algebra, about the values on either side of the equal side being the same, thus, success = nothing. I'm not sure that's what we were intending or was it? 

What if someone misheard and thought the expression was 'nothing succeeds like excess'? Do you feel better if we then write excess = nothing? And if someone tells you if you believe that, they've got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you, how will you drive there to buy it? And how will we get the time off from work? 

-bill kenny