Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Sometimes this Stuff Writes Itself

The results of Saturday's Republican Party primary in South Carolina are in and former Speaker of the House (I almost typed ‘serial adulterer’ and then realized I did type it), Newt Gingrich, is the winner. (Now you know why I didn't need an exclamation mark at the end of that sentence) I’m not a member of Mr. Gingrich’s party so I ask your forbearance when I note, less than helpfully as is my wont, that the race among those (still) seeking the Grand Old Party’s nomination for president most closely resembles a ‘who is the tallest dwarf?’contest.

I keep wondering what happened to our democracy from the Revolutionary War until now. Look at the signers of the Declaration of Independence and then remember our American History about the earliest Presidents and leaders. I’m always amazed at the number of men (forget not the times in which our country was founded; we were pretty fly for only white guy(s)) who never became President. 

Fast forward to the here and now and we’re spoiled for choice. I’m supposed to believe the announced candidates and the incumbent are the very best we can do. Seriously? Anyone else think we should be getting a refund because we didn’t get the whole ride?  

Meanwhile, barreling towards Florida (look out, Mom! Stay indoors!), for whenever their primary is held (before B-I-N-G-O, that's for sure) are the Republicans with no clear-cut leader either in the polls or among themselves.  In all of that churn, meet Dr. Keith Ablow of Fox News Medical “A” Team (he looks nothing like George Peppard) who postulates Mr. Gingrich, or ‘King Bee’ as I like to think of him, would be  a better choice for President because of, not despite, his history of infidelity.

The good Doctor offers, “When three women want to sign on for life with a man who is running for president, I worry more about whether we’ll be clamoring for a third Gingrich term, not whether we’ll want to let him go after one.” Sounds like a graduate of of the Frito-Lay University School of Psychiatry or someone who's interested in just how thinly you can slice bovine excrement.   

  
I’m not sure I understand why Fox News has a Medical “A” Team or what their function is (purely decorative, perhaps?) though I am reasonably certain my health insurance doesn’t cover their use. We’ve all heard about the problems of fidelity FDR, JFK and Clinton all had  (I’m assuming with phonographs and radio receivers) so it’s refreshing, in a way, to elevate the whispers to screams this early in the contest. 

Besides, if Mr. Gingrich does capture the White House, we can all look forward to a serenade at one of the Inaugural Balls by Billy Paul. Perhaps as a sing-along?
-bill kenny

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