I wrote this a really long time ago, before our son got married (He and Jena's anniversary was last Friday). I've not done very much very well in this life (at least so far), but marrying my wife and being the father to our two children were excellent moves on my part. At the time, I called it:
Memo to My Son
Today is the birthday of our son, Patrick Michael. If we've not met, count your blessings. I am NOT likable. Take my word on that, and rest assured, I could provide you a list of folks who could attest to this fact, and the list would resemble the census in size and scope.
Being not likable makes it a difficult stretch to be lovable, and yet, my wife, an otherwise sane and logical person, could not possibly be married to me for nearly five decades, but has. She not only raised two children, but she also transformed a self-absorbed obliviot into an Approximate Dad.
Sigrid went into labor in the middle of the morning, and we drove across town to the Offenbach Stadtkrankenhaus. German physicians in the early Eighties were an unknown species to me (Sigrid's frauenarzt was cool enough-I still have the black and white Polaroids of Patrick in the womb), and I was to them as well.
As Sigrid's labor continued and the contractions shortened and the delivery preparation's tempo quickened, I was asked where I would be during her stay in the geburtsaal, and I assured the doctors, 'right there with her', which surprised them.
I attempted to explain that I had placed the order and had every intention of taking delivery. Maybe my German wasn't that good-it was like playing to an oil painting, no smile, no nothing, gar nichts.
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Rocking Suspenders |
The midwife placed Patrick Michael on Sigrid's chest for mother and child bonding, and my disappointment knew almost no words. At that moment, I was so jealous of the woman I loved.
I asked as politely as I could if, after she had 'had enough of holding him', if I could, and she picked him up and fixing me with a stare that bordered on a glare handed Patrick to me, saying 'I've carried him for nine months, it's your turn now.'
From the moment I held him, Patrick Michael was, and is, my deal with God. I know your children are beautiful, smart, talented, and handsome, and I'm sorry-they're not my children, and my son and my daughter are the absolute best, not only in the world but in the history of the world.
I walked him around that delivery room for the next two hours or so, singing I've Been Working on the Railroad and really working those Fie-Fi-Fiddly-I-Os, making up in volume what I lacked in pitch.
He and his sister have overcome the handicap of being my children, mostly because they've had the good fortune to have the love and devotion of my wife as their Mom. And, yeah, he's made me crazy, angry, frightened, delighted, and every emotion in between--because that's what children do.
And as long as you remember to make sure they always know that sometimes they will do things you will not like, but that you will always love them, they will be able to do anything, even leave you when they grow up to be adults of their own. And your eyes will fill with tears as you watch them end the chapter of their childhood and begin to write their own novel as the life you always wanted for them finally begins.
And maybe the keyboard blurs as I type this because it's really warm and my eyes are perspiring-yeah, that's what it is, I'm sure. And I also get to say a few words to the newest Mrs. Kenny on the planet (to my knowledge), Patrick's bride, Jena: Sigrid and I have no words to express our joy that Patrick has found someone who loves him as much as we do.
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Patrick & Jena Kenny |
Happy Birthday, Patrick! Love, Dad.
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