Friday, February 5, 2016

Morning Musings, Unless You Sleep In.....

I admire people whose lives are so organized they can sub-specialize and multi-task on daily hygiene routines like hair washing. I’m a guy who uses a “3 in 1” soap while in the shower that purports to be shampoo, conditioner and body wash all at the same time. I was raised a Roman Catholic and am comfortable believing in things I don’t necessarily see with my own eyes. 

I don’t why the manufacturer stopped at three or how they figured that was the right number. If I get some in my mouth, does it help strengthen my teeth? It’s on my hands, isn’t it? So it helps harden my nails? We’re not going there today? Wish someone had told me; would have been nice.

Meanwhile, if you ask me what percentage is shampoo or conditioner, I’d have no clue. I’d probably say ‘enough’ since the few hairs I have on my head left don’t get all frizzy after I towel-dry them. Wish it worked on the ones on my back and knuckles.

As for the body wash, I don’t think our bodies are all that smart in realizing a certain soap is actually coming out of a bottle and that it started out in my hair. At least, I hope not.  And I should tell you I use the combo products not because I am so busy and important that I just don’t have the time to measure out shampoo and conditioner separately because that’s not it. It’s just easier.

If you’re one of those (and I’m told they exist though I don’t think I know any) who does use the “products” separately and always has the latter run out when the former does, bravo I guess and here’s a medal. By the way, I think you’re wasting your talents and should aim higher, a lot higher.

You probably have a loofah too, which is one of the goofier named things of all time (jumbo shrimp, I’m looking at you as I type that). I use a washcloth or flannel so I guess that makes me an accidental and coincidental exfollianter. Yeah, it’s important but not to me (thanks, Don). I’ll put it this way: those extra pounds I’d like to lose aren’t unshed skin, but thanks for the alibi.

And since I’m getting all lathered about really nothing, why is “No Tears” shampoo only for children? I know, “Be Quiet, Big Boys Don’t Cry” but there are people other than Godley and Crème wandering the planet, to include Eric Stewart, and maybe we don’t want to whine when we wash our hair. Just sayin’. Now, rinse and repeat.
-bill kenny    

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