Vanna, If I might purchase a vowel please....

We're smack in the middle of The Big E an event to which that I paid absolutely no attention for over a decade when we first arrived here on the Mayflower (moving van, that is. Sorry DAR). It wasn't a sense of history or mystery, for that matter, that prompted my jaunt to West Springfield.

This time two years ago my wife had flown home to visit her family in Germany. She had departed in early August and was forecast to return in October. Since I was the primary person to whom she was returning, I made it a point to keep our two children, Patrick and Michelle, in close proximity when we were discussing her return timeline. I'm not exactly a prize worthy of a Cracker Jack box and I was counting on the children to be more of the deal clincher than I knew I would be.

Patrick has lived his own life, under his own roof, since he was nineteen. His sister, our daughter, Michelle, was and is a student at Eastern Connecticut State University (Go, Turquoise Wombats! I'm actually making that up. I have no idea what colors or mascot they have) and two years ago was a commuter, meaning I had to worry about dinner for two for sixty plus days. When your culinary repertoire is Lipton's Chicken Noodle Soup and Campbell's Tomato Soup (made with milk, please) and Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, figuring out ways to explain to your now-returned wife, that you inadvertently poisoned and/or starved our only daughter becomes dangerously close to a logical pursuit.

All I knew about The Big E is that it has lots of food and lots of different kinds of food. To someone who had made a salad of three pounds of bow tie noodles, tossed with bacon with cherry tomatoes (lightly fried in bacon fat) only to learn (too late) that three pounds of cooked pasta actually lasts you a decade or more, a chance to offer my daughter something different and something she would actually eat was too good to pass up.

Once we went, I knew we'd go back because The Big E is just plain fun, no matter what your interests are. There's buildings full of farm animals, and gadgets, there's a horse riding track with a show competition of jumping and prancing and whatever it is horses do, and each of the New England States has a permanent exposition hall to showcase the specialities of that state (and now, John Rowland is NOT demonstrating hot tubs in the Connecticut Hall anymore than Buddy Cianci is offering free samples of his tomato sauce in Rhode Island. And the Rhode Island building, btw, doesn't seem to be smaller than the other ones.).

I've seen the world's tallest horse, a HUGE animal that looked a lot like a small building (perhaps the original RI Hall?), and the world's tiniest banjo (through a microscope) and it only cost me a dollar for each of those. Last year, my daughter and I insisted my wife go to The Big E (my son was working) and she had a great time (figure anyone who can stay married to me for almost 31 years has a sense of adventure and humor, if not a large plate of slightly fried cherry tomatoes and bow tie pasta), and I suspect and expect when we return tomorrow, we'll enjoy it all over again. The Big E runs through a week from this Sunday, the 28th, and is large fun. I'll see you there-I'm going to be circulating a petition to get all the other vowels a fair of their own as well, so bring a pen. I'll show you where to sign.
-bill kenny