The Hendersons Will Dance and sing

I got off to a late start yesterday morning-actually a latER start that had really begun the morning before. I'm not sure it's because of a medication switch but am open to that possibility, however yesterday morning I got to hear something I haven't heard in probably a decade or more, the sound my clock radio makes when the alarm goes off.

I usually awaken about an hour, or a little more, before it goes off. I have set it so that my day is still earlier than most people I know (with the growing more certain by the moment exception of my two brothers), but that doesn't mean I don't rush when I feel I need to. And I did. Getting ready to go to work doesn't give you a lot of opportunities for multi-tasking or doubling up (which is what my generation called it). In my universe, you can shave or you can shower or you can shooby dooby doo, but you can't do all of them at the same time.

Trying to short step one of the corners yesterday I thought I could probably start to get dressed while brushing my teeth. I have an electric tooth brush. I have explained previously, or should have, oral hygiene is nearly a religion with me. Shaving is dangerously pointless (or pointlessly dangerous, I'm never sure which) and my hair has been making itself scarce in recent years thus ameliorating my problems win that department leaving me with those pearly whites, dear.

Anyway, toothbrush in hand, bristles in mouth, I tried to get dressed from the bottom up, so to speak, from the inside out hopping in a fashion on one leg while disrobing. What happened was I went bottoms up, I think. I'm not sure. When I next opened my eyes I was sprawled but still clutching my toothbrush with a piece of my morning ablutions unaccounted. My balance has been getting weaker in recent years, not helped by folks whittling away on my knees and legs, as necessary as those interventions were and are. Being somewhat hyperactive from childhood on, I'm used to dusting myself off and picking myself up, so yesterday was, I guess, more business as usual.

I'm glad I came to before anyone else in my house awoke since there are many ways to start your day but the visual I would have presented wouldn't have been something you'd get out of your frontal lobe without using a salad fork. I had a headache for the remainder of the day (and all of the night) and a greater appreciation of the skillsets of Olga Korbut and Mary Lou Retton (she'd smile even riding a rabid gyroscope). I'm still not sure about those somersets, though, unless we're talking Maugham.

-bill kenny