Saturday, November 24, 2012

Go Big or Go Home

As a Scarlet Knight, an alumnus of Rutgers University, the State University of the State of New Jersey (our official name, by the way), I guess I am pleased the days of the underclassmen on the Division One sports teams, scholar-athletes all I'm sure, who toil on the field of folly at High Point Solutions Stadium or the hardwood court of the RAC in Piscataway to the delight of corporate patrons and sponsors and perhaps an occasional fellow-student as members of the Big East conference are drawing to a close.

That the Big Ten, their intended new affiliation, which is actually twelve schools will then be the Big Fourteen without changing their name, apparently, and with no trace of irony is almost as remarkable to me as the importance all of this crap seemingly has taken on. That all we're doing is changing the East to ten, or maybe twelve, or evern fourteen, disquiets me; maybe we're putting too much emphasis on Big. And all these numbers makes me wish we'd adopted the binary vice base ten numbering system. Take that IKO IKO.

"The purpose of an education," said 'Fast' Eddie, actually Dr. Edward Bloustein, who became the University President in the spring of 1971 addressing us freshman, the class of '74, on the green at the Voorhees Mall of the New Brunswick campus as he introduced himself, "is to learn the rules of the game better than anyone else so you can change the rules."

I guess we can treat the introductions as read now and hope the lessons have been learned because the books have been burned. We're poised to move on and become the finest college campus for, by and of professional athletes in the Western Hemisphere. And if nobody on any of the teams can read a word of the professional contract we all hope they will land, well, that's why God invented community colleges, innit?

If you can't make everyone smarter, make everyone dumber. It's probably easier, definitely cheaper and and it'll all even out in the end, assuming we're here to see it. No need to raise the Route 27 Bridge, just lower the Raritan. And, no pressure, but if you don't take the Pitt Panthers apart today, you might want to investigate on-line college classes.
-bill kenny

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