You know how everyone you know is binge viewing The Walking Dead? What do you mean they're not? Waitaminit, I just realized nobody I know is doing that either. I guess we're too old, or too young.
Meanwhile, the entire rest of the country eats this stuff up with a spoon and I have to confess I don't like it at all. I am a traditionalist-I didn't like "Night of the Living Dead" (or any of the other 10,000 title variations) as a kid growing up and I still don't now that I am decrepit.
So my dilemma today is what should I feel having learned that our Army of One and all the other members of the Puzzle Palace Praetorian Guard has a contingency plan to handle the Zombie Apocalypse? Pleased, perplexed, or perpendicular (I was working on that trinity thing and came up short).
Of course the plan will be managed by Strategic Command, Stratcom, responsible for the nuclear deterrent protecting the Homeland 24/7/365-who else would you entrust with this?
A predecessor to Stratcom, Strategic Air Command (usually called SAC, though not usually to their faces), was once led by General Curtis LeMay who famously offered to bomb the North Vietnamese back to the Stone Age (bus fare wasn't in the budget back in the day) so there's obviously something to be said for consistency of message and purpose.
I actually know professionally the "spokeswoman for Strategic Command" and was going to drop her an eNote teasing her until I realized we're fresh out of holy water at my house right now, so I may need a lot more Stratcom than either they or I was planning on if things go sideways.
As impressive as the alphabet soup of zombie threats is, reading the report, I'm most taken, so far, by the vegetarian zombies. And when I read about "dragon egg hatching contingencies" I decided at that very moment to never casually regard hard-boiled eggs ever again.
-bill kenny
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