We Can Twerk It Out

It’s just as well that I don’t hang out at the water-cooler at work (W.C. Fields disincentivized me from so doing) as I’ll stick to the bottled stuff with packets of flavor because naked water tastes so ordinary especially today since I didn’t watch the Video Music Awards, VMAs, last night on MTV. Cynic that I am, most of the music these days on MTV is in the commercials for skin creams and cell phone companies.

Talk about feeling like a football bat. I came of age when rock and roll was white noise on AM radio and now we each have personalized music services on soundclouds (or clowns, I’m never sure which; it makes as much sense, or as little, either way) making me a musical fossil as I still buy vinyl and compact discs and if I do buy a download (not to be confused with downlow, I’m told), I always burn, or rip as the kids call it, a CD.

At the moment in the car’s CD player is Field Mouse, Jess Klein’s recent release, Learning Faith, Ramblin’ Dan Stevens, my most favorite Joni Mitchell album, Shine, and reasonably new (for me) music from a fine band, the Old 97’s (NFSW! I just learned the other day what that means-I am so pleased to be able to use it appropriately. Word to your mother). 

Of course, at this moment, the Field Mouse CD is literally stuck in my car's CD player and short of drilling through the engine fire wall to remove the player from the dashboard there’s no easy means of listening to a whole lot of anything. If you have an idea how to solve this, feel free to holler.

I’m a child of the napalm-scented “we had to destroy the village to save it” generation (can you tell?) which trumps the patchouli-oil aromatic of ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ which, as it turns out, still doesn’t happen as the little boogers run wild in the street and the parents self-medicate

I didn’t bother to watch the VMA’s, it's a tradition of mine. I missed them last year as well and never quite caught up to Miley Cyrus and whatever her antics were about. I have no doubt, since there’s no such as ‘bad’ publicity, something of sorts went on last night with luminaries (I suppose) such as Sam Smith, Taylor Swift, Jessie J, Nicki Minaj and Ariana Grande, slated to perform. I almost can’t wait to not find out all about it.

Of course the Emmys are on tonight so I'd better bring a canteen tomorrow and stay in my office. Would someone please pass me the zirconium encrusted tweezers? I think I can get an angle on that stuck CD from here. Are those rotors I hear and tell me again, what does victory smell like?   

-bill kenny