Monday, August 3, 2015

What Hath Doug Ingle Wrought?

Some days, I am the most fortunate person on the planet, and not just because I have as my wife the most beautiful woman in the world though that certainly helps. There are days this stuff writes itself, except others, elsewhere do it for me and this is one of those days. 

Thank you, Daniel Tepferof the Connecticut Post. With some luck, there should be a little something extra in your wage packet this week for all the heavy lifting you did for me in filing this dispatch. It’s safe to assume Walter Berg the star of our show was, how shall we say, feeling thorny when caught in flagrante with what I’d hope was an attractive piece (of landscape).

Yes, you’re right of course who would have sex with an ugly shrub? My personal favorite part, aside from ‘covered himself with a grill cover’ (I’m hoping it wasn’t an Hibachi or the Pfizer Blue Pill Patrol will be stopping by later today) was the idea the neighbor, whose name is NOT in the story, was rolling video of Mr. Berg while he was beating around the bush, metaphorically speaking.

And how can you NOT love the headline, ‘charged with abusing greenery’? As ye sow, so shall ye reap. And it’s a fine line Behind the Green Door and behind the greenhouse.  When we speak of spilling seed, and we will, Onan, these were not the rosebuds you were encouraged to gather while thee may. 

I’ve read that bee pollination has declined precipitously in recent years so I’m happy someone took solving that problem into his own hands. I’m just not so sure about the gardeners’ gloves.
-bill kenny 

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