Perhaps if Alice Put the Hookah Down?

Sitting in one of the doctor's offices where I spend so much of my free time in recent years I came across Golf Week, a magazine, it states on  its own cover, "preferred by serious golfers."  I believe in the validity of Mark Twain's observation that 'golf is a good walk, spoiled' but I am curious as to what magazine would be preferred by frivolous golfers, or dare I say (or type) it aloud, miniature golfers? And do folks who enjoy mini-golf have to wear the same kind of colorful garb as real 'serious' golfers, only as shorts? These kinds of things keep me up at night; such are the joys of having an empty life.

And, let's have a show of hands, can you visualize Tiger Woods trying to calculate the lie on the 14th hole with a garishly painted windmill turning in front of it? Of course, near the windmill and helping with club selection would be his caddy, Sancho Panza. Kidding aside, especially on behalf of the TV networks who cover golf in whispers all the time why can't pro golf matches have ONE hole (just one, c'mon!) where there is a windmill? It would give those of us at home something fun to watch, though if we're watching golf that argument is more or less mooted.

On my way to work that same day, I drove past a Professional Building on Route 12 and wondered (though I'd imagine the chamber of commerce could help me out on this), if there's a separate building for the Semi-Pros or just a lean-to. In a perfect world, the semi-pros should be allowed to be housed in a semi-detached someplace, while us amateurs can live anywhere we wish though I wonder if a case can't be made for each of us being a professional in some field, avocation or endeavor. 

We can discuss that right after we dispose of this new and improved beverage-but for the life of me I can't figure out which came first or why...new or improved. And perhaps we should use it to wash down a couple of these jumbo shrimp?
-bill kenny